Randomness Inc.

My fair leaders, today i bear heavy news of consternation.  IT would seem that 5uperman has died.  “What happened!?!?!” some may say.  “Kryptonite,” others may say, while a knowing look glazes over their face, coupled with a scent of nostalgia oozing from their pores (now that’s a word picture).

(btw… skip the fluff here, just skip to the second to last paragraph… it pretty much ties it all together.)

Well, strangely enough it would seem that mr. Luther has finally defeated his long-time enemy, albeit at a heavy price.  The billionaire boy finally stumbled into his way to defeat superman one day, when he was playing with some kryptonite shards (he decided to always keep two or three handy lest superman decided to ambush him).

Consequently he was juggling them when a strange feeling came over him.  It was something that (being a super villain) he had never felt before.  Something welled up deep inside his throat and “boom” he coughed (at that very moment madagascar closed its borders –very few people will get that joke–).  He was taken aback, and for that reason he forgot to pay attention to a kryptonite shard.

It plummeted down his throat before he could spell e-n-c-e-p-h-a-l-i-t-i-s, and in typical textbook (or in this case comic-book) style a look of surprise came over him, and then nothing.  He was fine… for now.

What lex didn’t know was that deep inside his bowels kryptonite was mixing with his slight case of the flu (screams of terror… Detroit burns as riots break out at the very mentioning of the word “flu”) to form a more SINISTER form of the flu… KRYPT-FLU… e.g., get this flu you’ll end up in a crypt.

Of course push came to shove, it turned into a pandemic, and the whole earth burned.  Superman returned from his annual vacation on mars to find the world in shambles, and to also find out that he can be infected by this strange strain of the flu.  Everyone in the world (except madagascar) suffered a horrible fate.

All that to say, don’t you miss when the flu was JUST the flu?  I miss those days; don’t know about you guys.  But now it seems like the regular run of the mill “Flu” isn’t bad enough, now it has to be the Swine fLu, or avian flu, or FLYing flu.  And of course if you are so unlucky to get the old flu, or even a slight cold, everyone will eyeball you and act like your the destroyer of nations or something.  Of course H1N1 is barely different than the average run of the mill flu, but people are worried about it all the same.  One thing that is enjoyable about the new flu is the people wearing the dust masks to protect themselves.  It’s great to see people so concerned about themselves they will throw into the wind all caution at the fact that they look ridiculous, and are probably barely decreasing the chances of getting the flu.

Taking note that i should have ended there, I actually heard someone say that the swine flu was created by the government to target ethnic groups.  Which actually makes a LOT of sense kk k kk kk <—(have you ever wondered what all the k’s mean when people do that?) .  I mean, it would serve a great purpose to the government… to do that (kill off ethnic groups is the topic i’m on atm).  You know what, the person who wrote that (ethnic thing) deserves to be an author on R.INk.   Whoever you are, you are the kind of person who makes my life so much more entertaining and amusing… thank you sir… thank you. ^^   <—(odd smiley that’s supposed to be cute.)

-mullet-