Randomness Inc.

It’s been a good run… A noble effort, a valiant fight.  Yet all good things must come to an end.  Seeing as the usual half-life of my projects is about a millisecond, this has been a pretty darn good run.  Yes.  This is it.  The obligatory apologetic blog telling you imaginary people out there that I am done.  Through… finished. Hasta. Pasta.

To be fair, it was nothing you did… (you really haven’t done that much, actually, so I suppose it’s partially the nothing you’ve done).  Really, it is the fact that you seem to have cursed my life to the point where any computer I use will die (of course the logical thing to do is blame you).  For example, I got my first laptop and it ran smoothly and well.  I kept it clean and nice but one day unexpectedly it died.  By that time it was two years old, so I mourned its passing yet knew it was its time.  But then I got a new laptop.  A young, smaller, sleeker version of my last laptop.  I decided to go for an ultraportable lappy, much to my chagrin, however, this ended in the way most things in my life seem to end, too quickly.  A burst of light and baboom, the little tyke of a compy would no longer boot up (last time I get a GD Asus….)  So there I was… pondering… thinking… mulling it over… when it hit me.  I’d only had the computer for 20 days.  Hey… I could get a refund off of Amazon.com.  Score.  Yahtzee.  Mauzeltauff (correct spelling is for nazis.)

So I’ve sent my little lone lappy to amazon.com so I can hopefully get a full refund for the POS netbook they sent me.  I’m not bitter… Actually, I’m pretty happy, because their customer service was pretty darn good and polite.  I’ll be content with 85%… but hopefully i get more.

All this to say, I no longer have ready access to a computer, and, quite frankly, computers are overrated anyways.  I’d much rather be doing something with my life… like… exercising (lol) (ya right) (rofl).  Basically I’ve decided that with my current track record with computers (literally every single one I touch turns to proverbial dust), it would probably be in my best interest to stop throwing money into them.  Electronics are fickle, and they are pretty much the worst investments ever as far as depreciation of value goes.  So (because I’m really money conscious right now), I’ve decided to instead by (lol this is where i actually wrote “by” instead of “buy”… oh the irony) a PS3… that way It will be impervious to my electrokillosis.

Perhaps I’ll find a way to get back on here every once in a blue moon… I’m sorry babe… you’ve been my best online experience yet (apart from the first time I saw the numa numa guy…)  It saddens me that we have to end like this… I’ll be back… R.inc will go on.

Today I visited the elementary school of my childhood.  Walking into the building I was nearly brought to my knees as a torrential downpour of memories assaulted my optic sensors.  There were the stairs, going to the upstairs.  There were the other stairs going to the downstairs.  Stairs!! YES!

I went to school in a small one room schoolhouse for the first six years of my elementary education.  Yes.  A one room schoolhouse. No, there are barely any of them left anymore.  Am I special?  Well I can’t say, but heck yes. I was actually in The New York Times (whoopty doo right?), which for me… was a pretty special moment.  To clarify, the New York Times didn’t really write about me specifically, but if I could find the article (ya, that’s impossible) I do have a cameo appearance which is pretty amazing.

I miss that school though.  Saying that I went to a one room schoolhouse for elementary education makes me seem really old.  All I need to say next is that I rode my horse to school everyday or something… that would really date me (I only rode horse to school one time… and that was just for fun).  I’m not very old.

Today the school boasts a booming populi of 6 young squires, beemishly ready to learn and explore the great realms of science, philosophy, maths, and everything else. And I almost envy them.  They get to grow up and live in the greatest place in the whole wide world.

So i found this little gem today.  Pretty funny :)  Watch it full screen to capture all the awesomeness.

Shrimp.  What else can I say?  It’s so good, and so sexy.  If you don’t think shrimp is sexy, i think you’re crazy.  Shrimp is essentially a culmination of all things we humans would consider sexy.  Their gentle curves and tough little fin thingies with which you hold them and dip them in a succulent red tangy delicious dip.  It’s so good.  Slurp.

It would seem that recently we’ve sorta strayed from our humble food eating beginnings and now are relatively unfooded.  Unacceptable unacceptable.  So anyways… shrimp is the bomb.  It just tastes so good, and is so nice and juicy.  Anyways.  I’m tired.  Ever been tired?  That’s what I am.

I’m at that nice good tired point though.  So now is the time when i should prolly check out for the night.

-The Lustrous Fish

A long time ago, in a far away land, there lived a great eagle named Ubequis Silas.  The eagle was proud creature, and the noblest of all of the animals.  He did what he pleased, and all were welcome to his house, for he treated all animals equally.

However, the other animals did not like the great eagle, and they envied his freedom.  They wished they could fly and have others look up to them.  Wherever he went he was despised, and when he flew over the frogs and lions below they croaked and roared and threw stones at him.

The eagle was saddened by this, but showed no animosity toward the other animals.  He was not sorry that he could fly.

The eagle lived on, and ended up having just one son, Freid.  The young eagle was a curious fellow, and looked up to his father. He dreamed of the day he too would take flight from their nest, and fly beside his father.

He had waited for a long time, and finally he was old enough to take his first flight by himself.  He flew from the nest and over the forest.

He flew wildly, marveling at the wonders he could see below him. Spotting a pond he decided to land and take a drink. He perched by the water and suddenly he became aware that someone was watching him, so he looked this way and that, and finally his eyes rested upon a frog.  The frog croaked and hopped over to the eagle.

“Bonjour, i have not seen you around this pond before, you are related to the great eagle, no?”  Croaked the frog.

“Yes I am!”  replied the eagle, “In fact, I am his only son.”

Upon remarking on this, the frog laughed and introduced himself.  As they talked, soon a small crowd of animals began to appear.  A raccoon, a squirrel, a badger, and a snake all gathered around him, and started talking with him.

Suddenly the frog asked, “Why is it that you fly?”

The eagle was taken back, and didn’t know how to answer the question. He thought for a second, and replied, “I suppose I fly because I enjoy the freedom it brings.”

The frog made a strange noise, sounding like “oh hogh hogh,” and said, “but flying is outdated!  You don’t see me or any of the other animals flying, do you?  We see great results from crawling, hopping, and slithering.  Also, it’s bad for our environment, you flying above us raining droppings on our heads and dirtying our forest.”

The eagle looked at the animals and thought for a second.  He then replied, “you know, i guess i never thought about it that way before.”  He began to feel very apologetic for how his family had flew all these years, mindless of the animals below them.

The animals chuckled, and the frog spoke again.  “I suppose you fly because your fathers did, and they told you that it was the best way to travel. Your father is old, though, and behind the times.  Now days, everyone is traveling by foot.”

The eagle couldn’t argue with their logic, it did seem like all the other animals were right.  He then thought about his father, and realized that he was pretty old, and probably behind with the times.

The frog continued, “we actually have a committee of representatives for all creatures, and we’d love for you to join us.  We work to protect the rights of all creatures, and are fighting to prevent war and hatred.”

It sounded reasonable to the eagle, so he decided to join the group.  After all, their intentions were noble, and he felt that all animals should be treated fairly, in fact even his father had said that same thing.

Upon agreeing all the animals cheered, and hailed it as a step forward for all creatures, having the eagles represented. After the cheering had died, the squirrel spoke up.  “Eagle, my name is Sasha Lissim, and we are all very glad you are joining this group, but as we are a group helping all creatures, all creatures represented in the group must give us some small things.”

The eagle nodded and agreed that that was fair.

The squirrel continued, “Since you are a new member, we won’t require anything great from you, we simply require a few feathers. Of course you have to give them, so that we can give them to animals less fortunate than you.”

A snake nearby added, “Hey eagle, I’m Gou Dentantions, and we will need to clip your talons and beak, just so that you do not unintentionally hurt us or others.”

The eagle was more than happy to give them some feathers, seeing as he had a good supply of them, and he rarely used his beak and talons, so he was okay giving them up too.  A few clips and it was over with, and the animals decided to have a celebration.  They feasted all night long; it was the greatest celebration the eagle had ever seen.  And after a night of drinking and merrymaking, the animals slowly began making their way home.  They bid their farewells to the young eagle and went on their way, and before he knew it he was the last animal remaining, and it had gotten late.

He decided that it was past time to be getting back home, so he spread his wings and leaped off the ground.  He flapped for a second and then plummeted back to the ground, bouncing a few times in the dirt.  He shook his head in bewilderment, then leaped a second time.  He again flopped to the ground, and he continued flapping his wings and jumping for a while.  It was strange, and he couldn’t understand it.  Finally, he gave up flying and decided that he could walk.  The rest of the animals walked, so it would be good for him to start being like the other animals.  In fact, he resolved that he would walk from now on.  He wasn’t going to be like his old father.
He began walking through the forest, hopping along joyfully, and marveling at how nice it was to be walking.  Never before had he seen the forest like this, and it was indeed pretty beautiful and interesting.  As he walked, however, he again felt eyes following him.  He stopped and looked around, and out of the bushes a strange creature appeared.

“Hi there,” said the eagle, nervously eying the strange creature.  The creature remained silent and stared at him, so the eagle stuttered, “Hi… I’m Freid the eagle, what is your name?”

The creature approached him, and then uttered “My name is Teara Ny, the fox.”

The eagle, feeling strangely uncomfortable and frightened, quickly replied.  “Well, it’s nice to meet you, but it is very late and I must be getting home.  I have a long walk still ahead of me.”

The fox gazed at him intently, then snarled and lunged.

Freid tried to dodge his attack but was unable to, and soon the creature had pinned him down.  Freid tried to scratch him with his talons, and peck him with his beak, but realized that they were worthless now.

The fox was about slash his throat, when Freid let out a loud shriek.

The fox stumbled back a bit, covering his ears.  The eagle continued shrieking, and the fox was rendered helpless for a short time. Unfortunately the fox was canny, so he covered the eagle’s mouth.

He was again ready to kill Freid, but out of the sky a blurred object plowed into the evil fox, and slammed him to the ground.  Freid’s father had been looking for him, and heard his shriek.  He came down with a righteous anger and broke the legs of the wicked fox.  No longer would he terrorize the weak.

The great eagle then wordlessly picked up his son, and flew him home to their nest.  When they finally reached home, the young eagle told his father his story, of the frog and the other animals, of their committee, and of the wicked fox.

On hearing the story, the great eagle remarked, “Son, the animals simply envy us eagles, for we fly, and since they know they will never fly, they would like to bring us down to earth and strip us of our wings.  No matter what happens, never let an animal tell you that you’re doing something wrong simply because you’re the only one doing it.”

From that point on, the eagle soared above the clouds, right next to his father.  They still invited the other animals to come visit them in their nest, and occasionally Freid would peek out and see a frog staring at their home, and a couple squirrels twitching their tales as they walked nearby, but no one was ever bold enough to come and join them.

The end.

I am tired of today’s society.  Never before has there been a society so full to the brim with selfish people looking for immediate gratification… what ever happened to charity and giving expecting nothing in return?

What happened to modesty, and integrity?  Honesty, philanthropy, and a sense of community?  There were days when people knew their neighbors, and perhaps they could trust them and even go next door to borrow some sugar, but those days are gone.  Now we have a society of ingrates, unappreciative of the sacrifices the last generations have made for our well-being.  We strive to change our nation and take away what makes it different and unique. We want to be like other countries, spreading the wealth and punishing people for success, and quite frankly, i’m sick of it.  It doesn’t take a genius to see that those beliefs are archaic, and unacceptable in our age.

It’s time for people to wake up, and realize that YES, we ARE all equal, and money does NOT make anyone better than another person.  You can’t put a price on life, so we can’t say how much someone is worth in dollars and cents, it’s just sickening.

However, we don’t all make the same amounts of money, and we don’t all do the same thing.  In our country we have the opportunity to change our stripes and work extra hard to end up succeeding like the rich people today, but most people aren’t willing to put the effort required into their work.  It’s not a big deal, if you gave up 10 years of your life to make 40 million dollars that you rarely have enough time to actually enjoy, and only manifests itself in expensive foods and housing, then more power to you.  I hope you’re happy.  Myself, I’m willing to make sacrifices so that i can delay immediate gratification, but i’m not willing to sacrifice my life and youth for that.

In a time when everyone wants to be nonconformists, there is a dreadful amount of conformism going around.  Everyone must wear name brand clothes, the newest fashions and drive the newest model cars.  You need to go to college and get a degree and wife/husband so you can live happily ever after.  THIS IS WHAT YOU MUST DO TO BE HAPPY.  Hybrids are a sign that you are environmentally friendly.  You MUST protect the environment and value it above your own life or even that of your family.  Perhaps we’re not there yet… but just you wait.  Buy this and you’ll get be more attractive, that will make you HAPPY.  hAPPy hapPY HapPy.

You know what, everyone’s looking for happiness, i’ll tell you how to find happiness, it’s a simple thought, and it’s older than the hills.  Be CONTENT with what you have and where you are.  Stop and smell the roses.  Get rid of the clutter in your life.  It’s time to remove stressful things from your life.  Turn off the T.V. and throw your electronics out the window.  Stop texting all the time, it’s really not that cool.  GET OFF FACEBOOK.

Now as far as the government goes, i’d love to change myself from Republican to Independent, but if there’s one thing i can’t stand, it’s my personal decisions given a political slant by a party.  I want to avoid party politics, not fuel them.  People are raving about how the GOP is dying and blah blah blah, the GOP may be dying, but the democratic party is shriveling up along side of it.  Party politics are DISGUSTING.  Ya, perhaps the Republican party shares some of the same values i do, a good amount of the Republican people i would end up voting for (*cough* McCain *cough*) are almost as bad *cough* McCain *cough* (sometimes worse) than the alternative… for that reason, i would like to be a moderately conservative Independent…. but i just. cant. do. that.

You know what?  I’m a happy person, and the beautiful thing about politics is that no matter what happens to our country, and how i see people collectively flushing our freedom and uniqueness down the toilet, I will remain pretty darn content.

Here is what i believe the U.S. should do (and there are a lot of beliefs out there people, i’m sure mine are not flawless).  Instead of increasing government spending with the intent to get us out of debt, lets cut governmental spending AND taxing to the bare minimum.  No more bailouts, no more stimulus packages, no more bouncy castles for disaster victims.  It’s time to rely on the charity of good people to help out others, and believe me, when you don’t rely on the government to pay for your life, people will either buck up and do what they have to do, or starve.  And for those people who really truly can’t do anything, then it’s the job of their community (it takes a village… right? <— i hate it when you want to do a smiley in parentheses]  to help them out.  Legalize marijuana, and let business owners decide whether to allow smoking in their establishments.

People are begging us to get our troops out of Iraq, and basically no one appreciates the U.S. anymore, so let’s do it.  Get our troops out of foreign countries where we are no longer welcome.   IT’s time to stop policing the world and start policing our nation and getting the stick out of our own eye.

CUT spending.  CUT CUT CUT.  It’s time to realize people can live off of less, and so can our government.  Nuff said.

Kick the bums out of office, it’s time to clean house.

Start encouraging progress and competition instead of discouraging it by punishing people who make money and run businesses.

Reform the school system so that teachers are encouraged to work hard. Offer vouchers to parents wishing to school their children privately (which in turn would make public schools strive to be more competitive).

Things for groups to think about:

Christians:  stop fighting to bring christ “back” into schools, i don’t think teachers of today should be trusted to teach about deep philosophical truths and questions of supernatural nature when they barely understand math.

Atheists: take the chip off your shoulders and realize that us true christians are not trying to control you or tell you what to do.  You are free to do whatever you please just so long as it doesn’t effect other peoples’ well-being.

Media: stop being ridiculous.

Texting: (i want to put this some way texting can understand)… crl up and die plz lol

Political Parties: think about the country for once, instead of yourselves.

Liberals: Realize that right now equality is doing pretty darn good in this country, and yes, a good amount of that is due to you.  Also realize that an equal amount of the trouble we’re in right now can be put on your shoulders.

Conservatives: Yes… you are strong in your morals, but realize you (we) don’t understand everything about how the world works.  It’s time to listen to what democrats and liberals have to say, and try to see it their way.  Also realize that an equal share of our troubles can be put on your shoulders.

Nazis, hate mongers, bigots, racists, and Reverend Wright: please find your way to a Dharma initiative recruiting office ASAP, so you can be sent to an island that travels around and has a big scary monster thing on it.

EMOs: grow up.

Bloggers:  lol… nobody really cares (most of what i write is for my own entertainment).

Socialists: Please realize that the U.S. is one of the last free countries in the world, and that as such we offer actual potential to our inhabitants.  If you do not like this, i suggest you make great haste to France, or another country of that nature.

Nobel Peace Prize Giver-outers:  really?  o.O

ANYWAYS, i’m done ranting… kinda all steamed out.  If you’ve read this far, i applaud you.  1337 words of sheer brilliance.

So I’m at home enjoying rez life, when suddenly I wanted a Pop-Tart.

“How silly!” Says I. “It’s 8:13 at night! I shant be eatin’ at this hour!”

So I wrote a blog instead.

I’m just sitting here on the third floor of the lib. again, contemplating life.  With me Irish Latte to keep me companie.  I say, the past week has flown by faster than a African swallow, and now i find myself in the current week, contemplating a gross exam i have todaie in 1st floor Reid.  Its a bummer really.  I’d say the biggest problem I’m going to have to overcome is the fact that i have no idea what’s going on (it’s accounting class… iea).  I mean, accounting isn’t that bad, but you’d think theie’d make it a little easier for people like me (i.e. uninterested ppl).

My latte is finished… not quite sure what to do now.  Where do i go from here?  What’s the purpose of life, without a Latte?  Here’s a question, is the word “Latte” french or Italian?  Meh who cares, i have no latte so now i’m probablie going to dy.

My fair leaders, today i bear heavy news of consternation.  IT would seem that 5uperman has died.  “What happened!?!?!” some may say.  “Kryptonite,” others may say, while a knowing look glazes over their face, coupled with a scent of nostalgia oozing from their pores (now that’s a word picture).

(btw… skip the fluff here, just skip to the second to last paragraph… it pretty much ties it all together.)

Well, strangely enough it would seem that mr. Luther has finally defeated his long-time enemy, albeit at a heavy price.  The billionaire boy finally stumbled into his way to defeat superman one day, when he was playing with some kryptonite shards (he decided to always keep two or three handy lest superman decided to ambush him).

Consequently he was juggling them when a strange feeling came over him.  It was something that (being a super villain) he had never felt before.  Something welled up deep inside his throat and “boom” he coughed (at that very moment madagascar closed its borders –very few people will get that joke–).  He was taken aback, and for that reason he forgot to pay attention to a kryptonite shard.

It plummeted down his throat before he could spell e-n-c-e-p-h-a-l-i-t-i-s, and in typical textbook (or in this case comic-book) style a look of surprise came over him, and then nothing.  He was fine… for now.

What lex didn’t know was that deep inside his bowels kryptonite was mixing with his slight case of the flu (screams of terror… Detroit burns as riots break out at the very mentioning of the word “flu”) to form a more SINISTER form of the flu… KRYPT-FLU… e.g., get this flu you’ll end up in a crypt.

Of course push came to shove, it turned into a pandemic, and the whole earth burned.  Superman returned from his annual vacation on mars to find the world in shambles, and to also find out that he can be infected by this strange strain of the flu.  Everyone in the world (except madagascar) suffered a horrible fate.

All that to say, don’t you miss when the flu was JUST the flu?  I miss those days; don’t know about you guys.  But now it seems like the regular run of the mill “Flu” isn’t bad enough, now it has to be the Swine fLu, or avian flu, or FLYing flu.  And of course if you are so unlucky to get the old flu, or even a slight cold, everyone will eyeball you and act like your the destroyer of nations or something.  Of course H1N1 is barely different than the average run of the mill flu, but people are worried about it all the same.  One thing that is enjoyable about the new flu is the people wearing the dust masks to protect themselves.  It’s great to see people so concerned about themselves they will throw into the wind all caution at the fact that they look ridiculous, and are probably barely decreasing the chances of getting the flu.

Taking note that i should have ended there, I actually heard someone say that the swine flu was created by the government to target ethnic groups.  Which actually makes a LOT of sense kk k kk kk <—(have you ever wondered what all the k’s mean when people do that?) .  I mean, it would serve a great purpose to the government… to do that (kill off ethnic groups is the topic i’m on atm).  You know what, the person who wrote that (ethnic thing) deserves to be an author on R.INk.   Whoever you are, you are the kind of person who makes my life so much more entertaining and amusing… thank you sir… thank you. ^^   <—(odd smiley that’s supposed to be cute.)

-mullet-

Sushi anyone?  Or perhaps we could get more refined, and share a nice big bucket of fried chicken.  Creme de menthe cake with a nice tall glass of… liquid.  Yum.  But what really does the trick for me is special veggie pizza. With some vitamin a, b … t, h, and c.  Among other things.  That’s what it’s all about.