Randomness Inc.

It’s been a good run… A noble effort, a valiant fight.  Yet all good things must come to an end.  Seeing as the usual half-life of my projects is about a millisecond, this has been a pretty darn good run.  Yes.  This is it.  The obligatory apologetic blog telling you imaginary people out there that I am done.  Through… finished. Hasta. Pasta.

To be fair, it was nothing you did… (you really haven’t done that much, actually, so I suppose it’s partially the nothing you’ve done).  Really, it is the fact that you seem to have cursed my life to the point where any computer I use will die (of course the logical thing to do is blame you).  For example, I got my first laptop and it ran smoothly and well.  I kept it clean and nice but one day unexpectedly it died.  By that time it was two years old, so I mourned its passing yet knew it was its time.  But then I got a new laptop.  A young, smaller, sleeker version of my last laptop.  I decided to go for an ultraportable lappy, much to my chagrin, however, this ended in the way most things in my life seem to end, too quickly.  A burst of light and baboom, the little tyke of a compy would no longer boot up (last time I get a GD Asus….)  So there I was… pondering… thinking… mulling it over… when it hit me.  I’d only had the computer for 20 days.  Hey… I could get a refund off of Amazon.com.  Score.  Yahtzee.  Mauzeltauff (correct spelling is for nazis.)

So I’ve sent my little lone lappy to amazon.com so I can hopefully get a full refund for the POS netbook they sent me.  I’m not bitter… Actually, I’m pretty happy, because their customer service was pretty darn good and polite.  I’ll be content with 85%… but hopefully i get more.

All this to say, I no longer have ready access to a computer, and, quite frankly, computers are overrated anyways.  I’d much rather be doing something with my life… like… exercising (lol) (ya right) (rofl).  Basically I’ve decided that with my current track record with computers (literally every single one I touch turns to proverbial dust), it would probably be in my best interest to stop throwing money into them.  Electronics are fickle, and they are pretty much the worst investments ever as far as depreciation of value goes.  So (because I’m really money conscious right now), I’ve decided to instead by (lol this is where i actually wrote “by” instead of “buy”… oh the irony) a PS3… that way It will be impervious to my electrokillosis.

Perhaps I’ll find a way to get back on here every once in a blue moon… I’m sorry babe… you’ve been my best online experience yet (apart from the first time I saw the numa numa guy…)  It saddens me that we have to end like this… I’ll be back… R.inc will go on.

OMGOSLINGS today i totally played bubble tanks tower defense… it pwnt.  So i was just visiting some of my favorite flash games sites and i ran into it.  A few clicks later i realized i could host it on this site!!   WOOT.  So i’m going to put on here my pick of favorite games that will rock your SOCKS.  Seriously.  They pwn.

Lately I’ve been traversing the web, looking at different web pages and all sorts of paraphernalia, dreaming of the day i too could become a famous rapper.  All that to say, I think it’s time for us to change Randomnessinc.com and find our niche in the internettal society.   What I’m thinking is this:

We give ourselves a store, where you can buy R. Inc garbage.

We make our website less of a blog and more of a … website. We’ll still include a bloggingness area, but we’re going to be so much more now.

We will sell stuff, give junk away, and do all kinds of wonderful things.  All this will be done in my spare time with my moolah AND money that is generated by ads which i will be putting on here soon enough (and a donate button most probably).

So it’s time to make Randomnessinc.com something better.  It’s time, for change!  YES WE CAN …etc.

SO i’m going to need a kicking website design and possibly even a geek to work on that junk (and share our massive revenue.)  Don’t make me design it… that would be uncomfortable.  (Although a MS Paint background would be pretty cool).

Anyhoo, today I learned that Mountain Dew is pretty darn good once it’s frozen and a bit slushified, and also that sun screen is pretty darn flammable (hopefully you don’t sit out in the sun under a magnifying glass and burst into flame whilst covered in sunscreen).

Here and Randomnessinc.com, we feel like we’re very sensitive to all causes out there.  It has come to our attention that duck rape is a serious problem facing ducks all over the world.  If you are not a drug using murderer, than you will definitely feel some compassion to ducks and support the cessation of this insidious operation.

Just think about the poor little lady ducks, being maliciously violated by those horrible man ducks.  It’s time to take a stand.  There are groups on facebook you can join (CAADRE), but we would like to take this a step further. Not only have we created that group (powered by randomness incorporated [R.INC.]), we are going to organize a protest at the Montana State University (MSU) Bozeman (B) Duck Pond (DP), the pond with the most Duck Rape Per Capita (DRPC) in the United States of America (USA).

We are not yet sure on the date of the Event, but we are debating it at the moment (ATM).  We will try to get the date settled as soon as possible (ASAP), and when we do it would be nice if you could Répondez S’il Vous Plaît (RSPV).

This is the face of Duck Rape:

It’s ugly… know it well.

I am tired of today’s society.  Never before has there been a society so full to the brim with selfish people looking for immediate gratification… what ever happened to charity and giving expecting nothing in return?

What happened to modesty, and integrity?  Honesty, philanthropy, and a sense of community?  There were days when people knew their neighbors, and perhaps they could trust them and even go next door to borrow some sugar, but those days are gone.  Now we have a society of ingrates, unappreciative of the sacrifices the last generations have made for our well-being.  We strive to change our nation and take away what makes it different and unique. We want to be like other countries, spreading the wealth and punishing people for success, and quite frankly, i’m sick of it.  It doesn’t take a genius to see that those beliefs are archaic, and unacceptable in our age.

It’s time for people to wake up, and realize that YES, we ARE all equal, and money does NOT make anyone better than another person.  You can’t put a price on life, so we can’t say how much someone is worth in dollars and cents, it’s just sickening.

However, we don’t all make the same amounts of money, and we don’t all do the same thing.  In our country we have the opportunity to change our stripes and work extra hard to end up succeeding like the rich people today, but most people aren’t willing to put the effort required into their work.  It’s not a big deal, if you gave up 10 years of your life to make 40 million dollars that you rarely have enough time to actually enjoy, and only manifests itself in expensive foods and housing, then more power to you.  I hope you’re happy.  Myself, I’m willing to make sacrifices so that i can delay immediate gratification, but i’m not willing to sacrifice my life and youth for that.

In a time when everyone wants to be nonconformists, there is a dreadful amount of conformism going around.  Everyone must wear name brand clothes, the newest fashions and drive the newest model cars.  You need to go to college and get a degree and wife/husband so you can live happily ever after.  THIS IS WHAT YOU MUST DO TO BE HAPPY.  Hybrids are a sign that you are environmentally friendly.  You MUST protect the environment and value it above your own life or even that of your family.  Perhaps we’re not there yet… but just you wait.  Buy this and you’ll get be more attractive, that will make you HAPPY.  hAPPy hapPY HapPy.

You know what, everyone’s looking for happiness, i’ll tell you how to find happiness, it’s a simple thought, and it’s older than the hills.  Be CONTENT with what you have and where you are.  Stop and smell the roses.  Get rid of the clutter in your life.  It’s time to remove stressful things from your life.  Turn off the T.V. and throw your electronics out the window.  Stop texting all the time, it’s really not that cool.  GET OFF FACEBOOK.

Now as far as the government goes, i’d love to change myself from Republican to Independent, but if there’s one thing i can’t stand, it’s my personal decisions given a political slant by a party.  I want to avoid party politics, not fuel them.  People are raving about how the GOP is dying and blah blah blah, the GOP may be dying, but the democratic party is shriveling up along side of it.  Party politics are DISGUSTING.  Ya, perhaps the Republican party shares some of the same values i do, a good amount of the Republican people i would end up voting for (*cough* McCain *cough*) are almost as bad *cough* McCain *cough* (sometimes worse) than the alternative… for that reason, i would like to be a moderately conservative Independent…. but i just. cant. do. that.

You know what?  I’m a happy person, and the beautiful thing about politics is that no matter what happens to our country, and how i see people collectively flushing our freedom and uniqueness down the toilet, I will remain pretty darn content.

Here is what i believe the U.S. should do (and there are a lot of beliefs out there people, i’m sure mine are not flawless).  Instead of increasing government spending with the intent to get us out of debt, lets cut governmental spending AND taxing to the bare minimum.  No more bailouts, no more stimulus packages, no more bouncy castles for disaster victims.  It’s time to rely on the charity of good people to help out others, and believe me, when you don’t rely on the government to pay for your life, people will either buck up and do what they have to do, or starve.  And for those people who really truly can’t do anything, then it’s the job of their community (it takes a village… right? <— i hate it when you want to do a smiley in parentheses]  to help them out.  Legalize marijuana, and let business owners decide whether to allow smoking in their establishments.

People are begging us to get our troops out of Iraq, and basically no one appreciates the U.S. anymore, so let’s do it.  Get our troops out of foreign countries where we are no longer welcome.   IT’s time to stop policing the world and start policing our nation and getting the stick out of our own eye.

CUT spending.  CUT CUT CUT.  It’s time to realize people can live off of less, and so can our government.  Nuff said.

Kick the bums out of office, it’s time to clean house.

Start encouraging progress and competition instead of discouraging it by punishing people who make money and run businesses.

Reform the school system so that teachers are encouraged to work hard. Offer vouchers to parents wishing to school their children privately (which in turn would make public schools strive to be more competitive).

Things for groups to think about:

Christians:  stop fighting to bring christ “back” into schools, i don’t think teachers of today should be trusted to teach about deep philosophical truths and questions of supernatural nature when they barely understand math.

Atheists: take the chip off your shoulders and realize that us true christians are not trying to control you or tell you what to do.  You are free to do whatever you please just so long as it doesn’t effect other peoples’ well-being.

Media: stop being ridiculous.

Texting: (i want to put this some way texting can understand)… crl up and die plz lol

Political Parties: think about the country for once, instead of yourselves.

Liberals: Realize that right now equality is doing pretty darn good in this country, and yes, a good amount of that is due to you.  Also realize that an equal amount of the trouble we’re in right now can be put on your shoulders.

Conservatives: Yes… you are strong in your morals, but realize you (we) don’t understand everything about how the world works.  It’s time to listen to what democrats and liberals have to say, and try to see it their way.  Also realize that an equal share of our troubles can be put on your shoulders.

Nazis, hate mongers, bigots, racists, and Reverend Wright: please find your way to a Dharma initiative recruiting office ASAP, so you can be sent to an island that travels around and has a big scary monster thing on it.

EMOs: grow up.

Bloggers:  lol… nobody really cares (most of what i write is for my own entertainment).

Socialists: Please realize that the U.S. is one of the last free countries in the world, and that as such we offer actual potential to our inhabitants.  If you do not like this, i suggest you make great haste to France, or another country of that nature.

Nobel Peace Prize Giver-outers:  really?  o.O

ANYWAYS, i’m done ranting… kinda all steamed out.  If you’ve read this far, i applaud you.  1337 words of sheer brilliance.

"The Lamentable Death of Comptulia"
By Sir Mullet of Elderberry Lane

Twas a few dilly days ago,
and on earthy earth here below,
there arose a sad and mournful cry,
for someone dear to us must die.
To save the world from mount Deathala,
we had to sacrifice the great Comptulia.

A mournful burial we decreed,
forever remember the selfless deed,
of crazy count comptulia.

Anyways, my computer died the other day… that’s the best i could come up with in the last two minutes to write for the little guy… Kinda sad actually… there goes 800 dollars.  So because of that of course i haven’t been on the old R. Inc. (because i’m in mourning).  When i got on today, i was surprised to see 17 comments!  WOW!  And then i clicked on comments and they were all spam advertising the university of pheonix or something like that…. really strange.  But anyways… shed a tear for Count Comptulia.

We took this picture on the beach.  We set the camera up to take the picture so we could all be in it, and when we looked at it afterward we noticed the shark.  Needless to say we were a bit shocked, and when we looked for the man he was nowhere to be seen.  Crazy experience.  There was never a body found so we don’t know what actually happened.

Tonight I’ve decided not to sleep… instead i will stay up eating pizza, drinking protein shakes, watching South Park and old trippy creepy cartoons.  Its gonna be the shizzle.  So for the next while whenever i get bored i’ll probably pop out some poems or whatever.  It will own.

So I haven’t really been able to be my nice bloggy self of late, mostly due to the fact that me and my roomies are cheapskates, so we don’t want to pay 60 dollars a month for internet (isn’t that ridiculously expensive?).  So of course we simply use our neighbors open wireless network.  The only problem is that their wireless works whenever you don’t need it to.  so now that i actually need the internet to function, it isn’t working anymore.  Therefore, i find myself seated in a nearby grocery store, which is possibly the best grocery store in the world.  My friends say it’s expensive (but they’re full of crap).  It has great deals and looks awesome (probably why they think it’s expensive).  But if I, a poor college student, can afford it, believe me, anyone can.

And wow, i guess Pres. Obama got the nobel peace prize.  congratulations Monsieur Obama, i am happy for him that he was honored in this way.  The only thing is, let’s face it, Pres. Obama really hasn’t done anything yet to deserve this honor.  However, let’s look at some stats of Obama’s presidency, just for kicks.
– Five foreign trips made

– 14 countries visited

– 25 days spent outside the United States

– 48,620 miles logged

Gimme your thoughts… I want your brain *hungry look*.

My fair leaders, today i bear heavy news of consternation.  IT would seem that 5uperman has died.  “What happened!?!?!” some may say.  “Kryptonite,” others may say, while a knowing look glazes over their face, coupled with a scent of nostalgia oozing from their pores (now that’s a word picture).

(btw… skip the fluff here, just skip to the second to last paragraph… it pretty much ties it all together.)

Well, strangely enough it would seem that mr. Luther has finally defeated his long-time enemy, albeit at a heavy price.  The billionaire boy finally stumbled into his way to defeat superman one day, when he was playing with some kryptonite shards (he decided to always keep two or three handy lest superman decided to ambush him).

Consequently he was juggling them when a strange feeling came over him.  It was something that (being a super villain) he had never felt before.  Something welled up deep inside his throat and “boom” he coughed (at that very moment madagascar closed its borders –very few people will get that joke–).  He was taken aback, and for that reason he forgot to pay attention to a kryptonite shard.

It plummeted down his throat before he could spell e-n-c-e-p-h-a-l-i-t-i-s, and in typical textbook (or in this case comic-book) style a look of surprise came over him, and then nothing.  He was fine… for now.

What lex didn’t know was that deep inside his bowels kryptonite was mixing with his slight case of the flu (screams of terror… Detroit burns as riots break out at the very mentioning of the word “flu”) to form a more SINISTER form of the flu… KRYPT-FLU… e.g., get this flu you’ll end up in a crypt.

Of course push came to shove, it turned into a pandemic, and the whole earth burned.  Superman returned from his annual vacation on mars to find the world in shambles, and to also find out that he can be infected by this strange strain of the flu.  Everyone in the world (except madagascar) suffered a horrible fate.

All that to say, don’t you miss when the flu was JUST the flu?  I miss those days; don’t know about you guys.  But now it seems like the regular run of the mill “Flu” isn’t bad enough, now it has to be the Swine fLu, or avian flu, or FLYing flu.  And of course if you are so unlucky to get the old flu, or even a slight cold, everyone will eyeball you and act like your the destroyer of nations or something.  Of course H1N1 is barely different than the average run of the mill flu, but people are worried about it all the same.  One thing that is enjoyable about the new flu is the people wearing the dust masks to protect themselves.  It’s great to see people so concerned about themselves they will throw into the wind all caution at the fact that they look ridiculous, and are probably barely decreasing the chances of getting the flu.

Taking note that i should have ended there, I actually heard someone say that the swine flu was created by the government to target ethnic groups.  Which actually makes a LOT of sense kk k kk kk <—(have you ever wondered what all the k’s mean when people do that?) .  I mean, it would serve a great purpose to the government… to do that (kill off ethnic groups is the topic i’m on atm).  You know what, the person who wrote that (ethnic thing) deserves to be an author on R.INk.   Whoever you are, you are the kind of person who makes my life so much more entertaining and amusing… thank you sir… thank you. ^^   <—(odd smiley that’s supposed to be cute.)

-mullet-